Could you blame me?
"Hi, I'm Sonny."
I didn't say anything to him. I sat on my new lawn all those years ago. He was my neighbor. He extended his hand out to me thinking I wanted to play. My first day in a new house, I didn't want to move.
"Hunny, that's your new neighbor. It's okay to talk to him."
I remember his smile. His funny haircut and his blue eyes, bright, bright eyes.
"I'm Selena."
"My mom said you're new here. She said to make friends."
I smiled. Friends. I hadn't even started kindergarten at the time. It would be nice to have friends. We were only five back then. "You can call me Coco."
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
3. Broken Jaw & Gentlemen
I pulled the blanket from over my head and the sun shined in my eyes. It was barely coming up. We've been out here for hours and it might have only felt like minutes. What would I know?
"Put it back." She mumbled.
I kissed her on the forehead and checked the time on my cell phone. It was 6am. I should go home, I told her. "Just stay." I couldn't help resist her eyes so I turned away. My parents would kill me if they caught me out here. We got up and got dressed and went home. I kissed her outside her house and let her go inside. She said she'd never forget. I wouldn't either. I closed my eyes in bed and wondered how we got here.
"Hey shithead, breakfast is almost ready."
I was asleep for three hours before he woke me up. That's my brother Samuel Mitch Stone. He's my fifteen year old brother. He's the youngest of us. He is the smallest of us all too and just as good looking as me, my aunts always say. He looks a whole lot like me. He's small, has black short hair, and he even has blue eyes. He's my little brother. He's Sammy.
"Get out of my room." I moaned under the pillow.
He jumped on my bed. "Dad said it's time for breakfast, asshole!" Our older brother came into the room. He's nineteen. He's about six feet, 2 inches, buff, has black short hair, and hazel eyes. He got dad's eyes. His name is Shia Salvador Stone. He's our older brother, he's what dad calls our protector.
"Leave him alone, dick."
"Shut up, no one's talking to you." Samuel replied.
"Hey Shia!" I said loudly.
"Looks like he is." Shia replied leaning against the door frame.
"Well no one important is talking to you, Sally." He stuck his tongue out and turned back to trying to wake me up. Shia walked slowly forward and put Samuel into a headlock. "Douche!" Samuel yelled as he fell on the bed next to me. They wrestled. Samuel was way smaller than him so he couldn't even pray to win. "Cut it out guys." They stopped almost immediately. Samuel fixed his hair, as he's obsessed with his looks, but didn't move as Shia was sitting on his back.
"Where were you last night?"
He asked suspiciously. "I was with a girl." They weren't surprised. They wanted to know all about her. I guess this is what it might be like having girl friends at school. "Is she hot?" Samuel asked with great interest.
"Without a doubt."
"He wouldn't pick an ugly girl, idiot." Shia.
"Well what if he's mainly into personality." Samuel.
"I'm not." Me.
We discussed it with great detail, except for the sex, until dad came in. Dad's young, still thirty-nine, and he's as tall as Shia but with brown hair. "Breakfast is ready, boys." He left the room and we all continued to talk. Samuel was more interested than Shia was as Shia has had plenty of experience with girls. "Does she have a sister? Does she have two?" I punched him in the arm. "That's disgusting, I wouldn't want us dating sisters." He stuck his tongue out at me this time. "Well I wouldn't want that either." I didn't get it. "Well congrats, bro." Shia said honestly before there was a pounding on the window. "This early?" Shia said towards the window.
At the window was my best friend Justin Michael Weathers. He's Mexican, same height as me, and the same age. Shia let him in. "Hey guys, did I make it for breakfast?" We all nodded and laughed. Justin is like family to us, even though we are enough with three boys.
"You didn't answer my phone call last night. I wanted to see if you wanted to shoot some hoops."
"He was getting his penis sucked, dude."
I punched Sammy again. He looked at me in surprise as if he didn't know why I did it. "Another night out with Bree?" He asked and I sensed annoyance in his voice. I nodded.
"Well you could have told me."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay, no big deal. Anyways, guys, you all want to go to the movies tonight?"
Shia said he couldn't because he had a date and Samuel said he is hanging out with dad tonight. "Sonny?" He turned to me. "Of course." I said happily. I had to admit I haven't seen Justin as often as I should, so I couldn't pass this up. Yes, I have been giving most of my time to Bree, but I've been doing my best to manage all else. I see Justin at least once or twice a week and my family as well so it's no big deal. Hey, at least I haven't heard any complaints.
"Maybe you can bring Bree along. Ask her to bring a friend so we could double date."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, of course. Bree isn't a loser chick so I have no problem hanging out with her."
Dad walked in again and told us to go eat. We all ate. Justin left soon after and I did a little reading before seeing him and Bree tonight. I called her and she said she'd ask her best friend if she wanted to go. I haven't met her best friend, so I figured it might be a little awkward. No worries, I can handle awkward.
"So you're Bree?"
Justin shook her hand as she entered my room.
"Yes, and you're Justin?"
"Exactly. It's nice to finally meet you."
"Likewise. I've heard so much about Sonny's best friend, I thought you were a celebrity."
Justin looked over to me. I was sitting down at the computer.
"I assure you, I am not such thing."
She smiled and jumped on my bed. She began to read a magazine I had on the dresser.
"You think maybe I should get a boob job?"
"No." Justin said quickly.
She looked at me, ignoring, and with good reason, Justin. "Of course not. I like your size." She smiled. Now this was probably what she wanted to hear, but that's not why I said it. It was what I actually thought. As of now, well, she's perfect.
"You guys make me happy." Justin said.
"Why?" We both replied.
"Because of the lack of PDA. I mean, you'd think you guys would be all over each other in the very first two months of dating. Most couples are at least until 6 months. You know, always having to kiss in front of friends, always holding each other, you know, the works. It's acceptable in the first two months but after that, get over yourselves. We get it, you're dating. It was cute the first two months, now it's just obnoxious and annoying. Honestly, I doubt they do it because they actually want to, sometimes it just feels as though they do it because that's what they think couples should be doing. They're right, couples under the age of 18 do do that."
He laughed.
"I'm rambling now. I just can't stand it. I'm glad you guys are different." He ended his rant.
"I have him in our alone time, why do I need to bother your time with him? I'm not rude. Just be happy he found me, alright, Justin?"
He nodded. This was nice, you know, my girlfriend and my best friend getting along. I want it to stay this way. They're both right about the PDA thing. It is annoying and no one likes it. Let's be honest, yes, I want her right now. Yes, I want to kiss her right now. Doesn't mean I have to though. I respect Justin more than I do anyone else and so I would never put him in an awkward position.
"Well I hope you losers are ready for tonight. It should be fun. I invited my best friend Coco for you, Justin. She's a real riot."
And I heard it, that name. Her name is Selena Coco Myers, aka Coco. She's my girlfriend's best friend. This is news to me. Coco, well she stays clear of me, and with good reason. She remembers all those bad times. To explain, Coco used to be my neighbor. We grew up together. Now is probably not the best time to come into each others lives again. Growing up we used to talk about love, about getting married, about having kids. We were young, we had nothing else to talk about other than toys and games. Dream girl, old dream girl, wow, this isn't going to be good.
"Hey Sonny, long time no see."
"Seriously, how are you?"
Breezy got between us. "Wait, you two know each other?"
"Yeah, we grew up together. Next door neighbors, to be exact."
I'm glad that's all she said. The rest wasn't necessary. I put the past into the ground, couldn't she?
"What the fuck! Small world, right?"
"Hi, I'm Justin." He introduced himself. We all went inside to watch the movie. It was Justin's pick and we didn't complain. I couldn't stop myself from thinking though, what's going on here? It kept me from paying attention to the movie which sucks because Justin was going to ask for my full review after. Damn! I told Breezy I was going to go buy myself a drink and that I'd be back in ten. I walked out and not twenty seconds later, and I'm being generous with the time here, she walked out behind me calling my name. It wasn't Breezy.
"Hey you, you got a sec?"
"I guess, even though the movie is playing."
"I know, but I had to get you alone."
"And why's that?"
"To talk, you know, like old times."
"In a movie theater concession area?"
"I take what I can get, Sonny." She said with a smile. I hate that smile. It always used to work on me when I was young. I wasn't going to let it now.
"So you're with Bree now? That's kinda awkward. She told me she met an amazing guy, I didn't think it would be you. Idiot me, thinking there might be someone more amazing out there than you." She said as some of her black hair went into her mouth. I pulled it out for her. She looked at me. She hadn't looked at me like in, well since we broke up.
"I wish you would have told me."
"Told you that I was dating a new girl?"
"Would have been nice. It has only been four months since you left me."
"Is that what this is? A guilt trip? Sorry, Coco, but when it comes to you I no longer subscribe to guilt."
"Still the same old Sonny, I see." She took a sip from her drink. "How long until you break her heart? How long? Going to make it an entire childhood like with me?"
"Coco, shut up."
"Not this time, guy. I speak from old wounds and I don't have a timer on when to stop. You and Bree, that needs to end."
"Why? I'm not going to get back with you."
"So you don't hurt her. I won't let my best friend become me."
I stood up. Why did I agree to this conversation?
"I won't let her become you either. I really like this girl. I really liked you at a time too. Scratch that, I fucking loved you."
"And I love you. Why can't it go back to that, Mullen? It's not too late."
She called me by my middle name. She always did in intimate moments. "No, it cant. I said angrily. "It never can, Coco. It's time you start understanding that. I loved you before, but you loved those drugs more. I watched you slip away and you didn't care. You won't make me feel bad anymore, you won't try and pull me back to you. Breezy has taken your place, and that's it."
I said calmly. I don't know how I made that happened.
"I'll keep trying."
"She's your best friend."
"You're my first love."
"It won't happen."
"Anything is possible."
She began to walk towards the doors. After today, I never want to see her face again. She had me once and never again. There's nothing she can do to change that.
"Maybe you'll feel differently in nine months."
She walked in with those words as her final weapon. She's pregnant.
"You and Coco got along fine. So weird that you guys know each other."
"Yeah, I know."
That was the end of it. I didn't tell her what I had heard almost an hour ago. I went home after dropping her off. As I opened the door, around 1am, mom was sitting down looking outside the window. "Hey mom." I said quietly. She didn't respond. She never did. I guess now would be a good time to tell you I had a brother once. His name was Scott Marcus Stone, he would have been twenty-one years old today. He would have been our older brother Scotty. He drowned in the pool when mom was pregnant with Shia. Since then Dad says she has never been the same. She's never held us as a baby the way she did him. She never showed us her love, the way she showed him. I don't blame her though. It was her first baby. She's lost somewhere in there and I don't blame her. I still love her. Maybe one day she'll open up to my brothers and I and tell us about that day. Until then, we just let her look outside the window. "Goodnight, Sonny." I heard her say while I was going upstairs. I said it back and went to bed.
"What the hell?"
At least I thought I was going to bed. It was raining outside now and I just heard a small bang on my window. I looked out and saw someone standing in the rain. I couldn't make out who it was because it was raining so hard. I hope it's not Coco. I expect crazy like this. I ran down stairs to the door. Thankfully Mom was in bed. I opened it and ran onto the porch.
"What are you doing?"
It was Breezy. What was she doing here at this time? Didn't I just take her home?
"I'm sorry."
She said in a weird voice. She opened her mouth and blood fell out of her mouth to the ground. She fell over as I ran to catch her. She hit the ground hard before I caught her. It was raining, I hated getting wet, but for her, it wasn't even something to think about.
"What the fuck happened? Breezy, what the fuck!" I held her in my arms. I looked at her face and it was all beat up. Half of her face was black and blue. "Who did this?" I was crying now. I was fucking cry. "I fucking kill them, Bree. I'll fucking kill them. Who did this to you?" She wouldn't say.
"Tell me! Who did this? You're bleeding!" My voice was rising, it was shaking, I was shaking.
"My dad."
"He did this?"
I picked her up and sat her down on the bench on our porch. "Where you going?" She whispered. I went back inside slowly. This isn't happening. How could he do this? That motherfucker! I grabbed my dad's gun from his safe and walked out. "No, Sonny, no." She said in a low voice.
"I have to, Breezy. I have to teach this bastard a lesson."
"You'll get into trouble. They'll take us away."
"But how else? This won't stop unless we do something ourselves! Bree, it's not going to stop by the wave of your hand or by wishing and praying!"
"I know, I know."
"I'm going. You stay here." I grabbed the blanket off the other chair and put it over her.
"Please don't, Sonny. They'll take you away."
I was crying still. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop myself from crying over the girl I think I love broken in front of me. I wiped my nose.
"What the fuck do you want me to do about this?"
"Just stay."
"I can't just stay here, Breezy. I have to do something!"
"No, you don't. I'll handle it. We'll handle it another day."
I could barely hear her. Her breathing was off as well.
"Just don't do it. Don't make that mistake."
I walked up to her.
"Is this what you really want?"
"You? Yes."
I kissed her on the forehead. I don't think she could tell which were tears and which were rain drops falling on her.
"I'll do something one day. I'll disobey you."
I grabbed my dad's keys and drove her to the hospital. When I got there they took her inside. I waited in the waiting room for twenty minutes before my brothers and Justin arrived.
"What the hell happened?" Justin said in a voice laced with fear.
"It's not me, it's Breezy."
Sammy hugged me and I fell back onto my seat with him, crying.
"Sonny."
He said crying in my jacket. He thought I wasn't okay.
"He's been crying since you called." Shia explained. He kept his face buried into my jacket the whole time.
"She going to be okay?" Justin asked.
"I'm sure. I haven't heard anything since we got here."
"What happened?" Shia inquired.
I told them about her abusive dad, I told them about how he treats her, I told them about tonight.
"We need to call the police." Justin suggested. I explained to them how that wasn't an option because she didn't want to leave. "Can we hurt him?" Sammy asked with his head lifted a bit. It was the first thing he said since my name. "Yes, we can."
"How?" Justin.
"A bat." Sammy.
"Think bigger." I suggested.
"How about a knife?" Shia said.
"Whatever it is, I have to send a message. This piece of shit needs to never put another hand on her again. If he does, I'll kill him myself." I said angrily. I was angry.
"I'm in." Justin.
"Course I am, little brother."
"And me!" Sammy.
"Not you, Sammy."
He looked down.
"I don't need you getting hurt too."
I kissed his head. I put my hand out. "Let's make a gentlemen's pact to get this done, shall we?" They agreed and place their hands over mine. "Thanks guys."
The doctor sat down at the chair next to Bree's table.
"So you fell down the stairs when going to get a midnight snack? That's an odd story to tell everyone once you're out of here."
She nodded.
"Well, the important part is you're going to be okay. For your injury you'll just need some store bought Tylenol and some rest. Try not eating late at night so this doesn't happen again. You're free to go."
He stood up and went to the computer.
"And what about what I told you about? Will there be a problem there?"
"Of course not, Mrs. Callahan. It's too early for something like this to hurt it."
"Okay, good. I was a bit afraid."
"No need to worry, just try to be more careful for now on. A pregnant woman has no business falling down stairs. Well, no person has business doing that."
He laughed. She didn't.
"Put it back." She mumbled.
I kissed her on the forehead and checked the time on my cell phone. It was 6am. I should go home, I told her. "Just stay." I couldn't help resist her eyes so I turned away. My parents would kill me if they caught me out here. We got up and got dressed and went home. I kissed her outside her house and let her go inside. She said she'd never forget. I wouldn't either. I closed my eyes in bed and wondered how we got here.
"Hey shithead, breakfast is almost ready."
I was asleep for three hours before he woke me up. That's my brother Samuel Mitch Stone. He's my fifteen year old brother. He's the youngest of us. He is the smallest of us all too and just as good looking as me, my aunts always say. He looks a whole lot like me. He's small, has black short hair, and he even has blue eyes. He's my little brother. He's Sammy.
"Get out of my room." I moaned under the pillow.
He jumped on my bed. "Dad said it's time for breakfast, asshole!" Our older brother came into the room. He's nineteen. He's about six feet, 2 inches, buff, has black short hair, and hazel eyes. He got dad's eyes. His name is Shia Salvador Stone. He's our older brother, he's what dad calls our protector.
"Leave him alone, dick."
"Shut up, no one's talking to you." Samuel replied.
"Hey Shia!" I said loudly.
"Looks like he is." Shia replied leaning against the door frame.
"Well no one important is talking to you, Sally." He stuck his tongue out and turned back to trying to wake me up. Shia walked slowly forward and put Samuel into a headlock. "Douche!" Samuel yelled as he fell on the bed next to me. They wrestled. Samuel was way smaller than him so he couldn't even pray to win. "Cut it out guys." They stopped almost immediately. Samuel fixed his hair, as he's obsessed with his looks, but didn't move as Shia was sitting on his back.
"Where were you last night?"
He asked suspiciously. "I was with a girl." They weren't surprised. They wanted to know all about her. I guess this is what it might be like having girl friends at school. "Is she hot?" Samuel asked with great interest.
"Without a doubt."
"He wouldn't pick an ugly girl, idiot." Shia.
"Well what if he's mainly into personality." Samuel.
"I'm not." Me.
We discussed it with great detail, except for the sex, until dad came in. Dad's young, still thirty-nine, and he's as tall as Shia but with brown hair. "Breakfast is ready, boys." He left the room and we all continued to talk. Samuel was more interested than Shia was as Shia has had plenty of experience with girls. "Does she have a sister? Does she have two?" I punched him in the arm. "That's disgusting, I wouldn't want us dating sisters." He stuck his tongue out at me this time. "Well I wouldn't want that either." I didn't get it. "Well congrats, bro." Shia said honestly before there was a pounding on the window. "This early?" Shia said towards the window.
At the window was my best friend Justin Michael Weathers. He's Mexican, same height as me, and the same age. Shia let him in. "Hey guys, did I make it for breakfast?" We all nodded and laughed. Justin is like family to us, even though we are enough with three boys.
"You didn't answer my phone call last night. I wanted to see if you wanted to shoot some hoops."
"He was getting his penis sucked, dude."
I punched Sammy again. He looked at me in surprise as if he didn't know why I did it. "Another night out with Bree?" He asked and I sensed annoyance in his voice. I nodded.
"Well you could have told me."
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay, no big deal. Anyways, guys, you all want to go to the movies tonight?"
Shia said he couldn't because he had a date and Samuel said he is hanging out with dad tonight. "Sonny?" He turned to me. "Of course." I said happily. I had to admit I haven't seen Justin as often as I should, so I couldn't pass this up. Yes, I have been giving most of my time to Bree, but I've been doing my best to manage all else. I see Justin at least once or twice a week and my family as well so it's no big deal. Hey, at least I haven't heard any complaints.
"Maybe you can bring Bree along. Ask her to bring a friend so we could double date."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, of course. Bree isn't a loser chick so I have no problem hanging out with her."
Dad walked in again and told us to go eat. We all ate. Justin left soon after and I did a little reading before seeing him and Bree tonight. I called her and she said she'd ask her best friend if she wanted to go. I haven't met her best friend, so I figured it might be a little awkward. No worries, I can handle awkward.
"So you're Bree?"
Justin shook her hand as she entered my room.
"Yes, and you're Justin?"
"Exactly. It's nice to finally meet you."
"Likewise. I've heard so much about Sonny's best friend, I thought you were a celebrity."
Justin looked over to me. I was sitting down at the computer.
"I assure you, I am not such thing."
She smiled and jumped on my bed. She began to read a magazine I had on the dresser.
"You think maybe I should get a boob job?"
"No." Justin said quickly.
She looked at me, ignoring, and with good reason, Justin. "Of course not. I like your size." She smiled. Now this was probably what she wanted to hear, but that's not why I said it. It was what I actually thought. As of now, well, she's perfect.
"You guys make me happy." Justin said.
"Why?" We both replied.
"Because of the lack of PDA. I mean, you'd think you guys would be all over each other in the very first two months of dating. Most couples are at least until 6 months. You know, always having to kiss in front of friends, always holding each other, you know, the works. It's acceptable in the first two months but after that, get over yourselves. We get it, you're dating. It was cute the first two months, now it's just obnoxious and annoying. Honestly, I doubt they do it because they actually want to, sometimes it just feels as though they do it because that's what they think couples should be doing. They're right, couples under the age of 18 do do that."
He laughed.
"I'm rambling now. I just can't stand it. I'm glad you guys are different." He ended his rant.
"I have him in our alone time, why do I need to bother your time with him? I'm not rude. Just be happy he found me, alright, Justin?"
He nodded. This was nice, you know, my girlfriend and my best friend getting along. I want it to stay this way. They're both right about the PDA thing. It is annoying and no one likes it. Let's be honest, yes, I want her right now. Yes, I want to kiss her right now. Doesn't mean I have to though. I respect Justin more than I do anyone else and so I would never put him in an awkward position.
"Well I hope you losers are ready for tonight. It should be fun. I invited my best friend Coco for you, Justin. She's a real riot."
And I heard it, that name. Her name is Selena Coco Myers, aka Coco. She's my girlfriend's best friend. This is news to me. Coco, well she stays clear of me, and with good reason. She remembers all those bad times. To explain, Coco used to be my neighbor. We grew up together. Now is probably not the best time to come into each others lives again. Growing up we used to talk about love, about getting married, about having kids. We were young, we had nothing else to talk about other than toys and games. Dream girl, old dream girl, wow, this isn't going to be good.
"Hey Sonny, long time no see."
"Seriously, how are you?"
Breezy got between us. "Wait, you two know each other?"
"Yeah, we grew up together. Next door neighbors, to be exact."
I'm glad that's all she said. The rest wasn't necessary. I put the past into the ground, couldn't she?
"What the fuck! Small world, right?"
"Hi, I'm Justin." He introduced himself. We all went inside to watch the movie. It was Justin's pick and we didn't complain. I couldn't stop myself from thinking though, what's going on here? It kept me from paying attention to the movie which sucks because Justin was going to ask for my full review after. Damn! I told Breezy I was going to go buy myself a drink and that I'd be back in ten. I walked out and not twenty seconds later, and I'm being generous with the time here, she walked out behind me calling my name. It wasn't Breezy.
"Hey you, you got a sec?"
"I guess, even though the movie is playing."
"I know, but I had to get you alone."
"And why's that?"
"To talk, you know, like old times."
"In a movie theater concession area?"
"I take what I can get, Sonny." She said with a smile. I hate that smile. It always used to work on me when I was young. I wasn't going to let it now.
"So you're with Bree now? That's kinda awkward. She told me she met an amazing guy, I didn't think it would be you. Idiot me, thinking there might be someone more amazing out there than you." She said as some of her black hair went into her mouth. I pulled it out for her. She looked at me. She hadn't looked at me like in, well since we broke up.
"I wish you would have told me."
"Told you that I was dating a new girl?"
"Would have been nice. It has only been four months since you left me."
"Is that what this is? A guilt trip? Sorry, Coco, but when it comes to you I no longer subscribe to guilt."
"Still the same old Sonny, I see." She took a sip from her drink. "How long until you break her heart? How long? Going to make it an entire childhood like with me?"
"Coco, shut up."
"Not this time, guy. I speak from old wounds and I don't have a timer on when to stop. You and Bree, that needs to end."
"Why? I'm not going to get back with you."
"So you don't hurt her. I won't let my best friend become me."
I stood up. Why did I agree to this conversation?
"I won't let her become you either. I really like this girl. I really liked you at a time too. Scratch that, I fucking loved you."
"And I love you. Why can't it go back to that, Mullen? It's not too late."
She called me by my middle name. She always did in intimate moments. "No, it cant. I said angrily. "It never can, Coco. It's time you start understanding that. I loved you before, but you loved those drugs more. I watched you slip away and you didn't care. You won't make me feel bad anymore, you won't try and pull me back to you. Breezy has taken your place, and that's it."
I said calmly. I don't know how I made that happened.
"I'll keep trying."
"She's your best friend."
"You're my first love."
"It won't happen."
"Anything is possible."
She began to walk towards the doors. After today, I never want to see her face again. She had me once and never again. There's nothing she can do to change that.
"Maybe you'll feel differently in nine months."
She walked in with those words as her final weapon. She's pregnant.
"You and Coco got along fine. So weird that you guys know each other."
"Yeah, I know."
That was the end of it. I didn't tell her what I had heard almost an hour ago. I went home after dropping her off. As I opened the door, around 1am, mom was sitting down looking outside the window. "Hey mom." I said quietly. She didn't respond. She never did. I guess now would be a good time to tell you I had a brother once. His name was Scott Marcus Stone, he would have been twenty-one years old today. He would have been our older brother Scotty. He drowned in the pool when mom was pregnant with Shia. Since then Dad says she has never been the same. She's never held us as a baby the way she did him. She never showed us her love, the way she showed him. I don't blame her though. It was her first baby. She's lost somewhere in there and I don't blame her. I still love her. Maybe one day she'll open up to my brothers and I and tell us about that day. Until then, we just let her look outside the window. "Goodnight, Sonny." I heard her say while I was going upstairs. I said it back and went to bed.
"What the hell?"
At least I thought I was going to bed. It was raining outside now and I just heard a small bang on my window. I looked out and saw someone standing in the rain. I couldn't make out who it was because it was raining so hard. I hope it's not Coco. I expect crazy like this. I ran down stairs to the door. Thankfully Mom was in bed. I opened it and ran onto the porch.
"What are you doing?"
It was Breezy. What was she doing here at this time? Didn't I just take her home?
"I'm sorry."
She said in a weird voice. She opened her mouth and blood fell out of her mouth to the ground. She fell over as I ran to catch her. She hit the ground hard before I caught her. It was raining, I hated getting wet, but for her, it wasn't even something to think about.
"What the fuck happened? Breezy, what the fuck!" I held her in my arms. I looked at her face and it was all beat up. Half of her face was black and blue. "Who did this?" I was crying now. I was fucking cry. "I fucking kill them, Bree. I'll fucking kill them. Who did this to you?" She wouldn't say.
"Tell me! Who did this? You're bleeding!" My voice was rising, it was shaking, I was shaking.
"My dad."
"He did this?"
I picked her up and sat her down on the bench on our porch. "Where you going?" She whispered. I went back inside slowly. This isn't happening. How could he do this? That motherfucker! I grabbed my dad's gun from his safe and walked out. "No, Sonny, no." She said in a low voice.
"I have to, Breezy. I have to teach this bastard a lesson."
"You'll get into trouble. They'll take us away."
"But how else? This won't stop unless we do something ourselves! Bree, it's not going to stop by the wave of your hand or by wishing and praying!"
"I know, I know."
"I'm going. You stay here." I grabbed the blanket off the other chair and put it over her.
"Please don't, Sonny. They'll take you away."
I was crying still. I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop myself from crying over the girl I think I love broken in front of me. I wiped my nose.
"What the fuck do you want me to do about this?"
"Just stay."
"I can't just stay here, Breezy. I have to do something!"
"No, you don't. I'll handle it. We'll handle it another day."
I could barely hear her. Her breathing was off as well.
"Just don't do it. Don't make that mistake."
I walked up to her.
"Is this what you really want?"
"You? Yes."
I kissed her on the forehead. I don't think she could tell which were tears and which were rain drops falling on her.
"I'll do something one day. I'll disobey you."
I grabbed my dad's keys and drove her to the hospital. When I got there they took her inside. I waited in the waiting room for twenty minutes before my brothers and Justin arrived.
"What the hell happened?" Justin said in a voice laced with fear.
"It's not me, it's Breezy."
Sammy hugged me and I fell back onto my seat with him, crying.
"Sonny."
He said crying in my jacket. He thought I wasn't okay.
"He's been crying since you called." Shia explained. He kept his face buried into my jacket the whole time.
"She going to be okay?" Justin asked.
"I'm sure. I haven't heard anything since we got here."
"What happened?" Shia inquired.
I told them about her abusive dad, I told them about how he treats her, I told them about tonight.
"We need to call the police." Justin suggested. I explained to them how that wasn't an option because she didn't want to leave. "Can we hurt him?" Sammy asked with his head lifted a bit. It was the first thing he said since my name. "Yes, we can."
"How?" Justin.
"A bat." Sammy.
"Think bigger." I suggested.
"How about a knife?" Shia said.
"Whatever it is, I have to send a message. This piece of shit needs to never put another hand on her again. If he does, I'll kill him myself." I said angrily. I was angry.
"I'm in." Justin.
"Course I am, little brother."
"And me!" Sammy.
"Not you, Sammy."
He looked down.
"I don't need you getting hurt too."
I kissed his head. I put my hand out. "Let's make a gentlemen's pact to get this done, shall we?" They agreed and place their hands over mine. "Thanks guys."
The doctor sat down at the chair next to Bree's table.
"So you fell down the stairs when going to get a midnight snack? That's an odd story to tell everyone once you're out of here."
She nodded.
"Well, the important part is you're going to be okay. For your injury you'll just need some store bought Tylenol and some rest. Try not eating late at night so this doesn't happen again. You're free to go."
He stood up and went to the computer.
"And what about what I told you about? Will there be a problem there?"
"Of course not, Mrs. Callahan. It's too early for something like this to hurt it."
"Okay, good. I was a bit afraid."
"No need to worry, just try to be more careful for now on. A pregnant woman has no business falling down stairs. Well, no person has business doing that."
He laughed. She didn't.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
2. White Shoes and Wrists
I've been sleeping so strange at night. I don't know if it's because of me or due to the fact that my parents fight all night. My door opens.
"I can't sleep, Bree"
My little brother Daniel always comes into my room while they're fighting. He's a tough little kid. I love him. Unlike me, he's young and having to deal with this. Why should a eight year old have to deal with this shit? He's tough though. He's solid. "Lay over here." I motioned to the spot next to me in bed. He got into my bed. He held me close and fell asleep. Why? I found myself asking every night as my parents went wild. Yeah, and believe me, they went wild. It was nothing new yet every night splashed down on us as if it was. It never got old, it was always new blood. One fight after the other before the dust even has time to settle. The worst part, and it's about to happen, is when they brought us into it. My door burst open. It was mom this time.
"Get up!"
She said sourly. "Get the fuck up!" I didn't move. Daniel was waking up now. She was drunk, he was drunk, it was Tuesday. She walked across my bedroom towards my bed.
"Can you not hear me?"
"How could I not? You're yelling."
"Get up!"
I still didn't move. Why should I? What would she do? Hit me? I've been hit before. I've been beat. I've been made red. It doesn't matter anymore. I don't condone it but when you're trapped in a cage with no way out, you get used to it. Sad, right? Used to it. I want to shake just thinking about what I just said. No one should be used to it. "What do you want?" I said trying to hide my annoyed self.
"What do I want? What do I want? Mike!"
"Just leave us alone."
Mike is my dad. Dalia is my mother. Mike came to the door. He's tall, bald, and scary.
"Why are you pissing your mom off?"
"Pissing her off? Weren't you two just going at it?"
"What are you talking about?"
This act. This stupid act they play. I'm sixteen, not fucking eight. I know when they're fighting. They thought we didn't. "She doesn't do anything! All she does is go out and have sex!" my mom cried. She was half right. I'll let you guess about what.
"What?"
"You heard me! Mike, all she does is sleep around. Other mothers tell me it's so!"
My dad looked down at me. He was angry now. Daddy's little girl, he used to call me. Truth is, I never was. I was never either of theirs. "You're an idiot!" I told her. I meant it.
"What did you call me?"
"An idiot!"
"You little bitch!"
Daniel had his arms wrapped around me with his face on my stomach. He was shaking. "Why don't you just leave us alone? Go fight somewhere else!" She lost it. She ran up to the bed and grabbed me by the wrist. Daniel fell off the bed and began to cry. "I'll show you." She tried to show me. We rolled on the ground as she tried to hit me in the face. I didn't let her. I wouldn't in front of Daniel. Mike stood and watched. He didn't care. All he cared about was himself. He wasn't my dad. She almost got me that time. Almost hit my right eye. Almost. "Get off of me!"
She got up from the ground. "One of these days you're going to end up raped and murdered and I won't care!" She said with no regret. I didn't reply. How could I? I stood up slowly. I had to make a clean escape. I had to leave. Where to? I don't know. I sat on the bed. Daniel hugged my back.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"I'm leaving."
"You're not going anywhere."
Mike finally spoke. There was never any emotion in his voice. He always seemed so empty. Was I empty? Born from these two. These monsters. Am I a monster? If not yet, will I become one? The apple doesn't far from the tree, I imagined someone would one day say. I shuddered at the thought. "Let her leave. Little shit deserves to be in the streets." I put on my white shoes. My favorite pair Daniel bought me last year. He saved up all his money just for them.
"Don't listen to her."
"It's okay, Mike. I'll go."
"Finally!" She yelled.
"She's only sixteen!"
"I was fifteen when I was on my own!" She continued.
"And look how you turned out!" I yelled and slammed my door. It was over for the night. I'm not sure how all of this got started but to be honest, it doesn't matter. If not today, it would have been tomorrow. "Are you really leaving?" Daniel said in a sad tone. I nodded. He didn't want me to go. He didn't want to be left alone. I kissed him on the forehead.
"It's okay, they won't hurt you."
"Don't go."
"I have to go."
"No you don't."
"Yes, Danny, I have to."
I kissed his cheek this time. He's so young, so fragile, so pretty. "I'll be back. You'll be alright." I walked over to the book shelf. I didn't have many books anymore. She always threw them away when she'd go on a random tantrum.
"Here."
"What's that?"
"It's my favorite book."
"Your favorite?" He smiled.
"My favorite. It's called Cartoon Blues. I want you to have it."
"But you won't have it." He said afraid he was taking something important from me. I pulled out my copy of it from my back pack. "I have another one. The one I'm giving you is my first copy of it." I messed with his hair. "You just take care of it. It's a story about love, death, and the after life. You'll love it. Maybe one day you'll understand it." I continued to put stuff in my bag.
"How long will you be gone?"
"I don't know."
"So why are you leaving?"
"Because it just feels right. I can't be here for awhile."
"But will you be okay? Where will you sleep?"
"I don't know, Danny. I don't know."
I tried not to cry. I didn't like being interrogated. Especially by him. "Can I come with you?" Damn. He knows how to play the strings on my heart, doesn't he? "No. You have to stay here." He couldn't come with me. It would be too scary for him. Hell, it was scary for me. I'm not showing it, but I'm terrified. I don't know what I'm doing. But what else is there?
"I'll be fine, Danny. You just go to bed. Sleep here if you'd like."
"It's not fair." He crossed his arms.
"Life's not fair." I kissed him again on his warm forehead. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave. I had to leave. "Goodbye, Danny. I love you." I left before he could reply.
"Shit!"
I said sitting against a wall by a dirt field. My Ipod is dead and my cd player is CD-less. I'm basically screwed. It's okay, I'll hit up the record store tomorrow. I guess it's just me and the sound of insects for the night. I need to make my way to the nearest park and find myself a dry place to sleep. "Fuck this shit." I walked on for a while before I found a place to sleep.
"Ew, what's that smell?" Sarah Jones said as I walked by. Her friends laughed I'm guessing because they knew it was me. I wonder if she knew how many fucks I gave that day. "This." I punched her in the face. One, twice, three times. "Open your mouth again bitch and it will be worse next time." The school security hauled me to the counselors office.
"Mrs. Callahan, this is your second fight of the semester. I'm afraid I can't have this."
"It won't happen again."
"You said that last time."
"I know, but, Mrs. Bartlett, I had a rough night at home and I couldn't stand the bitch talking-"
"Excuse me?"
"I couldn't stand her talking trash as if my life needs any more crap in it."
I had to play my cards right. I didn't need getting expelled on top of things. School was my only way out of this city. "You're suspended for two days. I don't want to hear another word about it. You really need to think about what you're doing with your life, young lady." I nodded. I always did.
"That's the last one."
He grabbed it at the same time as me. What are the odds? I don't want to look at him. "I know, that's why I grabbed it." I wish he'd let go of it. He doesn't know how much I need this music right now.
"Well, I really want it." I told him calmly.
"As do I."
"You can wait until they get more."
"Why can't you wait?"
"I said it first."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
He was right. What did that have to do with anything? Wait what, he just let go. Play it cool. "I thought so." Wow, he's, well, yeah, he's handsome, isn't he? Time to walk away. "Wait!" He's following me. Just great, a stalker to top things off. At least he's cute though. It could be worse. Right? Right?
"Can I help you?"
"What's your name?"
"What time is it?"
He told me the time but I didn't really care. I wanted to see him fumble for his phone so I could think things over. What to do, what to do, what to do? I know! You only live once, right?
"My name is Bree Callahan."
I kissed him. I don't regret it. Not even to this day. Thinking back, I wonder if things would have been different. Would I be in love? Would I have grown into who I am today? He was a great kisser. He held my wrists tightly. He held my wrists. I liked it. I liked him. I pushed him away.
"What's your name, fucker?"
He licked his lips.
"My name's Sonny Stone."
We continued until we were kicked out. My day, well, it wasn't so bad anymore. I ran into a beautiful boy who held my wrists the right way. Not the way my parents would when they poured their anger out onto me. By the way, I miss Danny. I looked down at my white shoes. They were muddy now. It made me a bit sad. I always did my best to keep them clean. Sonny ran his hand through my hair. I looked up at him. He didn't say anything.
"What do you want to do?"
"Anything you wanna do." He said as he held my hand.
"I can't sleep, Bree"
My little brother Daniel always comes into my room while they're fighting. He's a tough little kid. I love him. Unlike me, he's young and having to deal with this. Why should a eight year old have to deal with this shit? He's tough though. He's solid. "Lay over here." I motioned to the spot next to me in bed. He got into my bed. He held me close and fell asleep. Why? I found myself asking every night as my parents went wild. Yeah, and believe me, they went wild. It was nothing new yet every night splashed down on us as if it was. It never got old, it was always new blood. One fight after the other before the dust even has time to settle. The worst part, and it's about to happen, is when they brought us into it. My door burst open. It was mom this time.
"Get up!"
She said sourly. "Get the fuck up!" I didn't move. Daniel was waking up now. She was drunk, he was drunk, it was Tuesday. She walked across my bedroom towards my bed.
"Can you not hear me?"
"How could I not? You're yelling."
"Get up!"
I still didn't move. Why should I? What would she do? Hit me? I've been hit before. I've been beat. I've been made red. It doesn't matter anymore. I don't condone it but when you're trapped in a cage with no way out, you get used to it. Sad, right? Used to it. I want to shake just thinking about what I just said. No one should be used to it. "What do you want?" I said trying to hide my annoyed self.
"What do I want? What do I want? Mike!"
"Just leave us alone."
Mike is my dad. Dalia is my mother. Mike came to the door. He's tall, bald, and scary.
"Why are you pissing your mom off?"
"Pissing her off? Weren't you two just going at it?"
"What are you talking about?"
This act. This stupid act they play. I'm sixteen, not fucking eight. I know when they're fighting. They thought we didn't. "She doesn't do anything! All she does is go out and have sex!" my mom cried. She was half right. I'll let you guess about what.
"What?"
"You heard me! Mike, all she does is sleep around. Other mothers tell me it's so!"
My dad looked down at me. He was angry now. Daddy's little girl, he used to call me. Truth is, I never was. I was never either of theirs. "You're an idiot!" I told her. I meant it.
"What did you call me?"
"An idiot!"
"You little bitch!"
Daniel had his arms wrapped around me with his face on my stomach. He was shaking. "Why don't you just leave us alone? Go fight somewhere else!" She lost it. She ran up to the bed and grabbed me by the wrist. Daniel fell off the bed and began to cry. "I'll show you." She tried to show me. We rolled on the ground as she tried to hit me in the face. I didn't let her. I wouldn't in front of Daniel. Mike stood and watched. He didn't care. All he cared about was himself. He wasn't my dad. She almost got me that time. Almost hit my right eye. Almost. "Get off of me!"
She got up from the ground. "One of these days you're going to end up raped and murdered and I won't care!" She said with no regret. I didn't reply. How could I? I stood up slowly. I had to make a clean escape. I had to leave. Where to? I don't know. I sat on the bed. Daniel hugged my back.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"I'm leaving."
"You're not going anywhere."
Mike finally spoke. There was never any emotion in his voice. He always seemed so empty. Was I empty? Born from these two. These monsters. Am I a monster? If not yet, will I become one? The apple doesn't far from the tree, I imagined someone would one day say. I shuddered at the thought. "Let her leave. Little shit deserves to be in the streets." I put on my white shoes. My favorite pair Daniel bought me last year. He saved up all his money just for them.
"Don't listen to her."
"It's okay, Mike. I'll go."
"Finally!" She yelled.
"She's only sixteen!"
"I was fifteen when I was on my own!" She continued.
"And look how you turned out!" I yelled and slammed my door. It was over for the night. I'm not sure how all of this got started but to be honest, it doesn't matter. If not today, it would have been tomorrow. "Are you really leaving?" Daniel said in a sad tone. I nodded. He didn't want me to go. He didn't want to be left alone. I kissed him on the forehead.
"It's okay, they won't hurt you."
"Don't go."
"I have to go."
"No you don't."
"Yes, Danny, I have to."
I kissed his cheek this time. He's so young, so fragile, so pretty. "I'll be back. You'll be alright." I walked over to the book shelf. I didn't have many books anymore. She always threw them away when she'd go on a random tantrum.
"Here."
"What's that?"
"It's my favorite book."
"Your favorite?" He smiled.
"My favorite. It's called Cartoon Blues. I want you to have it."
"But you won't have it." He said afraid he was taking something important from me. I pulled out my copy of it from my back pack. "I have another one. The one I'm giving you is my first copy of it." I messed with his hair. "You just take care of it. It's a story about love, death, and the after life. You'll love it. Maybe one day you'll understand it." I continued to put stuff in my bag.
"How long will you be gone?"
"I don't know."
"So why are you leaving?"
"Because it just feels right. I can't be here for awhile."
"But will you be okay? Where will you sleep?"
"I don't know, Danny. I don't know."
I tried not to cry. I didn't like being interrogated. Especially by him. "Can I come with you?" Damn. He knows how to play the strings on my heart, doesn't he? "No. You have to stay here." He couldn't come with me. It would be too scary for him. Hell, it was scary for me. I'm not showing it, but I'm terrified. I don't know what I'm doing. But what else is there?
"I'll be fine, Danny. You just go to bed. Sleep here if you'd like."
"It's not fair." He crossed his arms.
"Life's not fair." I kissed him again on his warm forehead. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave. I had to leave. "Goodbye, Danny. I love you." I left before he could reply.
"Shit!"
I said sitting against a wall by a dirt field. My Ipod is dead and my cd player is CD-less. I'm basically screwed. It's okay, I'll hit up the record store tomorrow. I guess it's just me and the sound of insects for the night. I need to make my way to the nearest park and find myself a dry place to sleep. "Fuck this shit." I walked on for a while before I found a place to sleep.
"Ew, what's that smell?" Sarah Jones said as I walked by. Her friends laughed I'm guessing because they knew it was me. I wonder if she knew how many fucks I gave that day. "This." I punched her in the face. One, twice, three times. "Open your mouth again bitch and it will be worse next time." The school security hauled me to the counselors office.
"Mrs. Callahan, this is your second fight of the semester. I'm afraid I can't have this."
"It won't happen again."
"You said that last time."
"I know, but, Mrs. Bartlett, I had a rough night at home and I couldn't stand the bitch talking-"
"Excuse me?"
"I couldn't stand her talking trash as if my life needs any more crap in it."
I had to play my cards right. I didn't need getting expelled on top of things. School was my only way out of this city. "You're suspended for two days. I don't want to hear another word about it. You really need to think about what you're doing with your life, young lady." I nodded. I always did.
"That's the last one."
He grabbed it at the same time as me. What are the odds? I don't want to look at him. "I know, that's why I grabbed it." I wish he'd let go of it. He doesn't know how much I need this music right now.
"Well, I really want it." I told him calmly.
"As do I."
"You can wait until they get more."
"Why can't you wait?"
"I said it first."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
He was right. What did that have to do with anything? Wait what, he just let go. Play it cool. "I thought so." Wow, he's, well, yeah, he's handsome, isn't he? Time to walk away. "Wait!" He's following me. Just great, a stalker to top things off. At least he's cute though. It could be worse. Right? Right?
"Can I help you?"
"What's your name?"
"What time is it?"
He told me the time but I didn't really care. I wanted to see him fumble for his phone so I could think things over. What to do, what to do, what to do? I know! You only live once, right?
"My name is Bree Callahan."
I kissed him. I don't regret it. Not even to this day. Thinking back, I wonder if things would have been different. Would I be in love? Would I have grown into who I am today? He was a great kisser. He held my wrists tightly. He held my wrists. I liked it. I liked him. I pushed him away.
"What's your name, fucker?"
He licked his lips.
"My name's Sonny Stone."
We continued until we were kicked out. My day, well, it wasn't so bad anymore. I ran into a beautiful boy who held my wrists the right way. Not the way my parents would when they poured their anger out onto me. By the way, I miss Danny. I looked down at my white shoes. They were muddy now. It made me a bit sad. I always did my best to keep them clean. Sonny ran his hand through my hair. I looked up at him. He didn't say anything.
"What do you want to do?"
"Anything you wanna do." He said as he held my hand.
Monday, April 25, 2011
1. Smiles and her Laughter
"Can I call you Breezy?"
I asked her. Her name is Bree Victoria Callahan. She's my girl. She hasn't always been though. Just in case you're wondering, this part of the story hasn't happened yet, at least for you. Well, I love her. It was only yesterday I met her in the record store.
"That's the last one."
She said as we both grabbed the last Eyes Shut album. I couldn't help but look at her though. She had long dirty blond hair and green eyes. She was beautiful. What was she doing listening to Eyes Shut?
"I know, that's why I grabbed it."
I retaliated. I wasn't stupid, I saw the obvious. Later I'd find out that was what she did to troll people. "Well, I really want it." She said softly that I barely heard her. Let me be clear that I'm not sexist and so her having a vagina meant nothing to this stand off we had going.
"As do I." I replied.
"You can wait until they get more."
"Why can't you wait?"
"I said it first."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
What is going on here? Why am I fighting with this pretty girl as opposed to trying to know her name? I let go of the album. She finally looked up at me. "I thought so." She said with a half-smile and walked away. That smile, that face.
"Damn."
I watched her walk away. I don't believe in love at first sight, and I still don't, but there was something about her. It must be something in the way she moves. Her tight jeans, her slender thighs, and her heels. "Wait!" I ran after her. She didn't stop. It made her even more attractive.
"Can I help you?"
She said with her back facing me.
"What's your name?"
She stopped walking. "What time is it?" I fumbled for my cell phone and opened it. "It's a quarter past four." That was a little odd, not to mention rude. "Come on." She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the doors. Before we walked out she put the Eyes Shut album between a bunch of pop band's albums and we left. Why was she holding my hand? I didn't even know her name.
"I know what you're thinking."
Could she read my mind? "Don't worry, I have about fifteen minutes until I have to be home." She kicked open the men's restroom doors and pulled me in. She opened the stall. "Perfect." She flushed the toilet with her foot. "At least it doesn't stink." She pulled us both in.
"I think this is more private."
"What are we doing here?" I said nervously. How often do you get dragged into a restroom by a stranger? "I wanted to be alone." She doesn't even know me. "My name is Bree Callahan."
Her name is Bree Callahan. It fits her perfectly. Before I could say another thing we were kissing. She was rough. I liked it. She told me she liked my clothes and my blue eyes. She liked my hair because it reminded her of a soul singer in a band. She said she didn't know many that liked Eyes Shut. "Me neither." I said trying to catch my breath. How she was able to talk and kiss me at the same time I still haven't figured out today. And that's how I met her. That's how I met Breezy.
"Yes. I like that name."
She said after a brief moment. She set her book down in the grass. We had a long day before this and we decided to lay in the grass reading random philosophy books from my book case. I liked that about her. She had brains and beauty. She laughed every time I told her. She said she's just happy to have brains.
"That settles things, Breezy."
"Do I get to give you a nickname?"
She ran her fingers over the book's cover. The philosophy of Kant. "Only if you want to give me one." I said laying down in the grass watching her. She looked out ahead of us. "No, never mind. I don't want to give you one just because you gave me one." She turned to look at me and smiled. "It's my birthday in two minutes." She said happily. I knew this. She didn't have to remind me.
"I know. Did you think I had forgotten?"
She nodded. She knew I knew. She just liked hearing herself talk about it. She came from a broken home, birthdays meant nothing over there. Broken homes meant broken memories. Hell, memories that never existed and if they did, well, you didn't want to remember them. We could relate to that. We knew the importance of a birthday. Life was tough for us both growing up and we had the scars to prove it. Thinking about it though, I don't know how war could make a girl so gentle on the inside. Sure she played the hardcore bitch often but behind the walls she put up there was a porcelain heart that would break if it was shook one more time. I would never shake it. I wouldn't dream of it.
"What are we going to do for it?"
She lied back next to me. We were both looking at the stars now. It was almost midnight. "Anything you want to do." I smiled. She held my hand. "Can we sleep here?" She said calmly.
"Your parents would blow up."
"It doesn't matter. It's my birthday."
"Yeah, but I don't want you to get in trouble."
"Whocares. It doesn't matter to me."
"I don't want them to hurt you."
Those words stopped her. She didn't like thinking about it but I had to say it. It was the only way to make her not do anything reckless. A month ago her dad almost broke her jaw. I almost killed him the next day. I would have killed him. I would have. If not for her. She protected him to protect herself. Still so young, she'd be sent away if her parents were arrested. You might say she stopped me to stay with me. It's tragic, but she dealt with it. She'd poke fun the next couple days every time I kissed her saying I was kissing the girl with a broken jaw that her father gave to her. She didn't know how much that bothered me. She didn't know. I wanted to help her find something better. I still do. I want to help her find something better if there is something better.
"Fine."
She said quietly. I raised her hand to my lips and kissed her hand. "Happy Birthday." She turned to look at me. Her eyes shined with the moon in them. "Thank you." she motioned with her lips, without really saying it. Here we were. Two young kids in love. You can call it what you want, we don't care. How could someone really tell us any differently? When she says she loves me, I believe her. She believes me.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
We kissed. How did she become mine? How did I catch her? What idiot guy let her go? Killed those thoughts. I don't care to know who else had been me before. She's mine now and I'm hers. The past is now buried. I put my hand into my pocket.
"What are you doing?"
She said as she stopped kissing me. "Hold on." I tried to pull out her gift. "What is it?" She said seeing the black box. I looked at her impatiently. She knew what it was. "It's yours." She took the box from my hands and kissed me. Surprisingly, she laughed when she saw what was inside.
"It's a promise ring? You are so gay!"
"It's not a promise ring."
"Sure does look like one."
"But it's not. It's just a ring."
Her smile disappeared. She always wanted the truth but her face always showed signs of bitterness each time she got it. I laughed. "Relax bro." she laughed. "It's a ring but it's a ring with words." She looked up at me.
"I love you, Breezy. I love you so fucking much. Now I know I'm going to sound really cliche and like a boy band from the 90's but I really don't care. You are, you are everything to me, B. These past two months have been too amazing. Every day, and yes we have spent every day since we met together, has been special in its own way. You've changed me, dude. You've made me more of a man than my parents have. More than I've done for myself. Without you, well I'd probably still just being a walking corpse that never felt the life of love."
"You're being cheesy."
"No I'm not. Shut up, alright?" She didn't say another thing.
"I'm not used to this, despite all I've said. Happy sounds, smiles, laughter. It's brand new to my little life. What could I do though? I still can't help but letting it enter me. Letting you enter me. Not in a nasty way, but in a serious one. You are amazing, and sometimes I forget to breathe around you. Good thing it's instinctual or I'd be dead. Breezy Callahan," I put the ring on her finger. "I give you this ring to just say I love you and that nothing will separate us. I will always be yours." I said. Her eyes were watery now. I told you, porcelain heart.
"You will?"
"I will."
She kissed me again. Her face hit my face hard this time. It hurt but I didn't mind. I never mind when she bashed my face in while trying to kiss me all exited. She couldn't do any wrong.
"You're something else, you know that?"
I nodded. She liked my confidence. She said it made me who I am. "I thought you said this wasn't a promise ring." She said as she got on top of me.
"It's not."
"It sure sounded like one."
"Shut up."
"Or what?"
I kissed her. We made love under the stars, under a blanket, wrapped like shoelaces that would never come undone. Never. We didn't care what the world thought about this. We were young and stupid, but we wouldn't have it any other way.
"What's your name, fucker?"
She said in the boys stall as she pushed me away. I licked my lips. She was nice.
"My name's Sonny Stone."
My name's Sonny Mullen Stone. That's what I told her.
I asked her. Her name is Bree Victoria Callahan. She's my girl. She hasn't always been though. Just in case you're wondering, this part of the story hasn't happened yet, at least for you. Well, I love her. It was only yesterday I met her in the record store.
"That's the last one."
She said as we both grabbed the last Eyes Shut album. I couldn't help but look at her though. She had long dirty blond hair and green eyes. She was beautiful. What was she doing listening to Eyes Shut?
"I know, that's why I grabbed it."
I retaliated. I wasn't stupid, I saw the obvious. Later I'd find out that was what she did to troll people. "Well, I really want it." She said softly that I barely heard her. Let me be clear that I'm not sexist and so her having a vagina meant nothing to this stand off we had going.
"As do I." I replied.
"You can wait until they get more."
"Why can't you wait?"
"I said it first."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
What is going on here? Why am I fighting with this pretty girl as opposed to trying to know her name? I let go of the album. She finally looked up at me. "I thought so." She said with a half-smile and walked away. That smile, that face.
"Damn."
I watched her walk away. I don't believe in love at first sight, and I still don't, but there was something about her. It must be something in the way she moves. Her tight jeans, her slender thighs, and her heels. "Wait!" I ran after her. She didn't stop. It made her even more attractive.
"Can I help you?"
She said with her back facing me.
"What's your name?"
She stopped walking. "What time is it?" I fumbled for my cell phone and opened it. "It's a quarter past four." That was a little odd, not to mention rude. "Come on." She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the doors. Before we walked out she put the Eyes Shut album between a bunch of pop band's albums and we left. Why was she holding my hand? I didn't even know her name.
"I know what you're thinking."
Could she read my mind? "Don't worry, I have about fifteen minutes until I have to be home." She kicked open the men's restroom doors and pulled me in. She opened the stall. "Perfect." She flushed the toilet with her foot. "At least it doesn't stink." She pulled us both in.
"I think this is more private."
"What are we doing here?" I said nervously. How often do you get dragged into a restroom by a stranger? "I wanted to be alone." She doesn't even know me. "My name is Bree Callahan."
Her name is Bree Callahan. It fits her perfectly. Before I could say another thing we were kissing. She was rough. I liked it. She told me she liked my clothes and my blue eyes. She liked my hair because it reminded her of a soul singer in a band. She said she didn't know many that liked Eyes Shut. "Me neither." I said trying to catch my breath. How she was able to talk and kiss me at the same time I still haven't figured out today. And that's how I met her. That's how I met Breezy.
"Yes. I like that name."
She said after a brief moment. She set her book down in the grass. We had a long day before this and we decided to lay in the grass reading random philosophy books from my book case. I liked that about her. She had brains and beauty. She laughed every time I told her. She said she's just happy to have brains.
"That settles things, Breezy."
"Do I get to give you a nickname?"
She ran her fingers over the book's cover. The philosophy of Kant. "Only if you want to give me one." I said laying down in the grass watching her. She looked out ahead of us. "No, never mind. I don't want to give you one just because you gave me one." She turned to look at me and smiled. "It's my birthday in two minutes." She said happily. I knew this. She didn't have to remind me.
"I know. Did you think I had forgotten?"
She nodded. She knew I knew. She just liked hearing herself talk about it. She came from a broken home, birthdays meant nothing over there. Broken homes meant broken memories. Hell, memories that never existed and if they did, well, you didn't want to remember them. We could relate to that. We knew the importance of a birthday. Life was tough for us both growing up and we had the scars to prove it. Thinking about it though, I don't know how war could make a girl so gentle on the inside. Sure she played the hardcore bitch often but behind the walls she put up there was a porcelain heart that would break if it was shook one more time. I would never shake it. I wouldn't dream of it.
"What are we going to do for it?"
She lied back next to me. We were both looking at the stars now. It was almost midnight. "Anything you want to do." I smiled. She held my hand. "Can we sleep here?" She said calmly.
"Your parents would blow up."
"It doesn't matter. It's my birthday."
"Yeah, but I don't want you to get in trouble."
"Whocares. It doesn't matter to me."
"I don't want them to hurt you."
Those words stopped her. She didn't like thinking about it but I had to say it. It was the only way to make her not do anything reckless. A month ago her dad almost broke her jaw. I almost killed him the next day. I would have killed him. I would have. If not for her. She protected him to protect herself. Still so young, she'd be sent away if her parents were arrested. You might say she stopped me to stay with me. It's tragic, but she dealt with it. She'd poke fun the next couple days every time I kissed her saying I was kissing the girl with a broken jaw that her father gave to her. She didn't know how much that bothered me. She didn't know. I wanted to help her find something better. I still do. I want to help her find something better if there is something better.
"Fine."
She said quietly. I raised her hand to my lips and kissed her hand. "Happy Birthday." She turned to look at me. Her eyes shined with the moon in them. "Thank you." she motioned with her lips, without really saying it. Here we were. Two young kids in love. You can call it what you want, we don't care. How could someone really tell us any differently? When she says she loves me, I believe her. She believes me.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
We kissed. How did she become mine? How did I catch her? What idiot guy let her go? Killed those thoughts. I don't care to know who else had been me before. She's mine now and I'm hers. The past is now buried. I put my hand into my pocket.
"What are you doing?"
She said as she stopped kissing me. "Hold on." I tried to pull out her gift. "What is it?" She said seeing the black box. I looked at her impatiently. She knew what it was. "It's yours." She took the box from my hands and kissed me. Surprisingly, she laughed when she saw what was inside.
"It's a promise ring? You are so gay!"
"It's not a promise ring."
"Sure does look like one."
"But it's not. It's just a ring."
Her smile disappeared. She always wanted the truth but her face always showed signs of bitterness each time she got it. I laughed. "Relax bro." she laughed. "It's a ring but it's a ring with words." She looked up at me.
"I love you, Breezy. I love you so fucking much. Now I know I'm going to sound really cliche and like a boy band from the 90's but I really don't care. You are, you are everything to me, B. These past two months have been too amazing. Every day, and yes we have spent every day since we met together, has been special in its own way. You've changed me, dude. You've made me more of a man than my parents have. More than I've done for myself. Without you, well I'd probably still just being a walking corpse that never felt the life of love."
"You're being cheesy."
"No I'm not. Shut up, alright?" She didn't say another thing.
"I'm not used to this, despite all I've said. Happy sounds, smiles, laughter. It's brand new to my little life. What could I do though? I still can't help but letting it enter me. Letting you enter me. Not in a nasty way, but in a serious one. You are amazing, and sometimes I forget to breathe around you. Good thing it's instinctual or I'd be dead. Breezy Callahan," I put the ring on her finger. "I give you this ring to just say I love you and that nothing will separate us. I will always be yours." I said. Her eyes were watery now. I told you, porcelain heart.
"You will?"
"I will."
She kissed me again. Her face hit my face hard this time. It hurt but I didn't mind. I never mind when she bashed my face in while trying to kiss me all exited. She couldn't do any wrong.
"You're something else, you know that?"
I nodded. She liked my confidence. She said it made me who I am. "I thought you said this wasn't a promise ring." She said as she got on top of me.
"It's not."
"It sure sounded like one."
"Shut up."
"Or what?"
I kissed her. We made love under the stars, under a blanket, wrapped like shoelaces that would never come undone. Never. We didn't care what the world thought about this. We were young and stupid, but we wouldn't have it any other way.
"What's your name, fucker?"
She said in the boys stall as she pushed me away. I licked my lips. She was nice.
"My name's Sonny Stone."
My name's Sonny Mullen Stone. That's what I told her.
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